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Waifus

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Misakalove

Jason's devotion for Misaka-chan is the quintessential display of true love

"Waifu" is the term given to a character in a piece of media who is considered by the attributor to be their spouse, forming a relationship that has all the indicators and facets of a conventional marriage, with the exception that the waifu is not a sentient being.

On TDH, there are several users who practice the act of having one of more waifus. It is both a controversial and bewildering topic among the community, having been subject to many heated debates throughout the site's history.

Approaches to waifus Edit

Monogamy
1242275415115

The correct reaction to a whore who isn't faithful to her husbando or single.

Edit

Monogamy is the act of having one spouse or, in this case, one waifu. Still tied to the traditional ionstitution of marriage, "monogamyfags" consider their marriage to be natural and fulfilling, viewing the multiple-spouse relationship practiced by "haremfags" as immoral and inconsiderate to the feelings of the women involved, as well as a clear indicator of lack of ability to commit.

Polygamy Edit

Polygamy (called "haremfagging" in waifu terminology) is the act of having multiple waifus from one or, in most cases, multiple pieces of media. While polygamy is frowned upon in the Western world, "haremfags" do not consider the act to be wrong due to BEING FUCKING STUPID. However, the prevailing view is that having any waifus is, well, pretty fucking stupid. They view "monogamyfags" as pansies who are not able to realize that they could get as many waifus as possible because, after all, the characters are not real.

Ouran-host-club

This is what TDH looks like in the eyes of a "haremfag" (note the ruler of the harem on the seat)

To clarify: the difference between what is traditionally seem as a harem and a harem consisting of waifus is that, like in monogomy, the waifus are not sentient beings, which means that the mentality of the "haremfag" is to amass as many waifus as they desire because there is no real consequence to doing so, leading "monogamyfags" to accuse "haremfags" of hedonistic tendencies. However, the response from "haremfags" is that "monogamyfags are beta," implying that people with harems of waifus are considered "alpha" in a darwinian sense.

The overhanging controversy over the morality of using a harem is being disputed in communities to this day, and TDH is no exception.

TDH users with waifus Edit

jaydough Edit

jaydough practices monogamy with his waifu, Misaka Mikoto. He has been known to make cookies for his waifu on Valentine's Day, giving them to her by, to paraphrase, "rubbing them on the screen." Whether this act is seen as one of pure love or lunacy is up to the reader, but jaydough believes that his love for Mikoto is equal, if not greater than that of a monogamous relationship between two real people, disregarding the obvious lack of sentience on part of Mikoto.

It is unknown how he views his mother-in-law, Misaka Misuzu.

Ultra Edit

Yui-and-her-k-on-cake

Ultra celebrating Yui's birthday.

It has been suspected that Ultra is in love with Hirasawa Yui, with the most prominent evidence being his remembrance of her birthday. Given that he also follows the story of K-On in an almost obsessed manner, the assumption has been made more than once, even though Ultra has never explicitly admitted his relationship with Yui, perhaps in fear that he would be judged by society.

In a way, Yui is his secret lover.

Mr. Plastic Edit

Mr. Plastic belongs to the haremfag side of the waifu approach.

Statement on waifus Edit

"The word 'waifu' is one of the most misconstrued terms thrown around in today's imageboard
culture. Several helpful images have been made, but each only scratches the surface of the correct
implication of the term, as defined by scattered ronery individuals who stole it from the bowels of
Japanese hikkikomori society. Of course, the originations of the term are not solely in one place,
simply because the concept of waifu is something that, in one form or another, has at least scratched at
the thoughts of a large amount of the anime viewerbase, as well as many who have never seen a single
tsundere or recognized a moe attribute in their entire life. Thus, the term has coalesced from a variety
of sources into a conventional idea employed in most 'learned' anime circles.


However, with the influx of new anime viewers, as well as old anime viewers that remain out of
touch with the waifu movement, the term is frequently butchered and misused. This essay is written to
clarify that, while a waifu means different things to different people, there are many things that a waifu
is believed to stand for, while in reality it does not by any definition. Just as a word has only certain
usages, the waifu only is an embodiment of certain facets of one's psyche, no matter her perceived
personality. These facets I will explore, and will subsequently provide a defense of after the grounding
in this esoteric subject has been completed.


To preface this examination, I give you my thesis. Two-dimensional love is controversial, yet
not psychologically, philosophically or biologically wrong.

I. Initial Defense of 'Waifu' as a Concept Edit


It is a basic tenet of psychology that humankind is not meant to be divided. Man, generally
speaking, cannot in good health live a solitary life. Invariably, he will either crumble from the
loneliness or reach out to another human being. It is why prostitution and religion, the two oldest
industries, are still thriving today. They offer man the same service—companionship. The belief that
one is not alone, that one shares something with another gives man the feeling of acceptance, which he
desires above all else after his survival is ensured. This has been written out in Maslow's hierarchy of
needs, as well as being something of an inborn knowledge that most everyone understands without
having to explicitly define it. So let us explore further.


Prostitution and religion, most would argue they could not be further removed. As they pertain
to this topic, their greatest difference is the greatest proof of the legitimacy of 'waifu'. It can generally
be agreed that religion offers most people a longer-lasting sense of joy than fornication with a harlot.
Yet, why is this? Should not man fulfilling his biological imperative give him the highest sense of joy?
No, because man is not merely a machine who must solely spread his seed. Man is also emotion,
which gains no long-term satisfaction from empty lust and must supplement it with religion to achieve
the sense of belonging he requires to continue living. This is why the priesthood, who may never
indulge in carnal desire their entire life, are generally a fulfilled collective. To top it off, religion is
even convenient enough to give them a sense of purpose, that they are serving in martyrdom to
complete some grand deist orchestration that is indisputably their life's work.


So, after mankind's needs of the body are met, we have boiled the remainder of his desires down
to three core principles: fornication, belonging and purpose. Yet fornication we have already proved
superfluous when overwhelmed by a proliferation of the other two points. If one has significant
belonging and purpose, fornication can be considered excess. However, by the same token it can also
be seen in society that a lack of belonging and purpose breeds an excess of fornication, supplemented
by a mockery of those who forgo it. Those souls who reside in every niche of humanity who are
deprived of their happiness by a lack of these points ridicule those fulfilled, and those fulfilled pity
them.


However, conventional fulfillment via belonging and purpose acquired through theology is
decadent, corrupt and indicative of an inferior mind. But why? If they are living life happily, why are
they living life incorrectly?


Because they are depriving others of their happiness.


Popular religion currently is, by definition of its scripture, the ostracism and desire to eradicatethose who are not immediately part of your body. It perverts the desire for belonging into its reverse—the exclusion of all as a way to facilitate the growth of such a need. It also perverts the desire for purpose into a desire to attack those who are different, those whose desire is not homogeneous.


Fornication too is not exempt, and is treated as a negative by those who have lost their need for it, rather than a neutral topic of little importance, as it should be handled, again to increase this sense of exclusiveness which leads to such destructive hedonism.


So conventional theism can be seen to be defunct due to its destructive nature. Those who want
to lead a wholesome life are therefore sent back to square one. How to fulfill the two necessary desires
for peace of mind?


This is where the waifu comes in.


A waifu is, generally speaking, a two-dimensional female character out of the Japanese anime,
manga, visual novel, light novel and video-game subculture. There are probably delineations of
otakudom that I am glossing over, but these are the main sources from which waifus are derived from.
There is of course, the less-popular 'husbando', favored amongst male homosexuals and females. There
will inevitably be a complaint here that all females are 'bitches and whores' and thus could never
understand the concept of 'waifu'/'husbando'. Such arguments are generalizations and ad-hominem,
whether or not the concept of 'waifu'/'husbando' can be realized depends on the individual, not solely
on their gender. For now, we will treat the waifu as female, if only for the sake of simplicity.
The proper waifu is a wholesome supplement for one's intrinsic need for belonging and purpose.
One generally discovers his waifu after a disillusionment in the three-dimensional world,
particularly after some form of romantic rejection. If one is into the otaku culture, a waifu is an
alternative to the uncaring and sometimes unreachable 3D. However, this is where our first and
perhaps most major misconception of waifu crops up.


A waifu is not meant to be merely a second choice. If you only claim you have a 'waifu'
because you want to distract yourself from lingering desires towards 3D, you are a hypocrite of the
worst kind. Think of how she might perceive it, or even of how a 3D female might. You are settling
for her. This putrefaction of waifu by nature leads to a lack of belonging and purpose, for she is merely
purposed to be a sham to shield you from your inability to fit in where you want, to romance where you
need.

Such a waifu will inevitably fail.
313011-misaka misuzu large

In some cases, waifus will come with "inlaw-sama(s)"


Waifu is meant to be a combination of belonging and purpose to the fullest degree. It is meant to be a different path entirely, one that is only acceptable to tread as long as one is genuinely happy, or at the very least progressing towards happiness. So yes, it is similar to religion in that regard, but differs from it for a key reason, one that is another misconception that must be addressed. Unlike those who believe in God, the healthy man does not actually believe his waifu is a real human being.

Indeed, the moment she assumes a fleshly form is the moment she is reduced to human capacity, and subsequently is fettered by the drawbacks of this world. Such dangerous delusion is reminiscent of schizophrenia, and probably indicates an actual disorder.

The crux of the issue here is that a waifu is imagination personified. By definition, she is how you fantasize her, and this thought is aided in taking form through a personality set forth in the original source material she came from. The healthy man knows he is imagining his waifu, and accepts this. He revels in these fantasies, yet accepts they are fantasy. At this point the most common riposte is along the lines of “isn't he deluding himself either way?”


The answer is, simply, “yes”.


He is deluded, but would not have it any other way. Any other way leads to either loneliness or
disappointment shortly followed by loneliness. The correct waifu is not used in place of something but
rather for something. The nuance here means all the difference.


Furthermore, it is not like this delusion is an unusual thing. Humanity may revile the concept of
2D love, but if one were to hold it up to a mirror, one would notice it is not quite so far removed as it
would like to think. One person can never love another. One person can only love their concept of
another. Because you do not have a telepathic link with your spouse, you cannot know her in her
entirety. You have fallen in love with a set of personality traits that have presented themselves to you.
This is where 2D love and 3D love converge.


Both involve infatuation with concepts. This is all humanity can ever hope to achieve with our
current technology limitations.


The next argument that will present itself here is that the waifu is a creation of another human's
mind, and cannot hope to be a complex or realistic character. This is wrong as well. Just as your
impressions of people can vary by how much you know of them, your waifu is the same. In both
events, your imagination will always fill in the blanks. There is no difference between how your brain
handles 2D and 3D. True, your knowledge of a female may eclipse the knowledge of your waifu her
source material provides, but this is irrelevant simply because your imagination will inevitably close
the gaps. Procedurally, there is a difference but the end result is the same: you are confronted with a set
of attributes that you either do or do not find appealing.


From these facts, we can draw a conclusion.


A waifu is for those who genuinely do not care for the 3D alternatives. They are not using her
in place of a 3D love, but rather to fulfill identical needs via similar means. The only remaining
difference between the two is capability for fornication, which we have already proven to be a non-
issue. However, while on the topic of lust this may be a good time to address the last major issue that
plagues the interpretation of 'waifu'.


A waifu is not your favorite character to masturbate to. She is not a sex object. It may ring of
feminism but, if anything, she is more deserving of such treatment than the average 3D, for she is the
embodiment of that which you admire and love most in the concept of 'female'. Of course, that's not to
say you can't find her attractive. Such a provision would be ridiculous. There is a difference between
admiring beauty and seeking to defile it. It is perhaps a provision of your waifu that you believe her to
be the most beautiful woman in the world, 2D or otherwise.


But we have yet spoken only of the unenlightened or unbelieving. Now we shall talk on the
ones who walk the 2D path.

II. 'Waifu' as a Lifestyle Edit


When one has a waifu, sooner or later, one will be confronted with the issue of lust and love
butting heads.


It is not wrong to address this issue first, as it is the one that often crops up first, and can be
used as a segue into further pontification.


The viewing of pornography when one has a waifu is not wrong, and I will elucidate why.
Fundamentally, you are treating the women in your porn (2D or otherwise, though otherwise is a bit
strange for one who has a 2D lover) differently than your waifu. You are using them only to satiate a
carnal lust, which in an ideal world you would not have to satisfy, but because humans are altogether
too human, must appease. Because there is no emotional attachment between you and the objects of
your pleasure, there can be no usurping of your waifu as a source of belonging and purpose. The
pornographic woman is transient, only a conduit for which you may purge yourself of desire.
At this point you may ask: isn't it okay to pleasure myself to my waifu?


Yes, but there is a caveat. The difference between correct and incorrect implication of your
waifu into your sexual ritual is a matter of perspective. To put it in simple terms, it should be treated as
love made with your wife, whereas pornographic characters are treated as mere hookers. As long as
this pleasure is done with respect rather than casual uncaring, it remains well. This is why most who
have a waifu object to owning or seeing any pornographic material of her—because it treats her as one
would treat a whore. To that end, if you wish to involve your waifu in your self-cleansing, it would be
prudent to leave her to your imagination.


There may be feelings of guilt that stem from involving different women in your pleasure, but
these women are nothing more than means to an end. The worry is unfounded and should not be
entertained.


The last issue of sex that must be replied to is the inevitable complaint that if one does not
marry and have children, one has not lived a significant (in the Darwinian sense) life.
Artificial fertilization is a reality. Marriage is not a necessity. This argument is defunct.
So sexuality is under wraps, next comes society.


How do you tell people your love is 2D?


You don't.


Again, a main difference between the waifu and religion is the waifu is not out to hurt or
provoke others, nor is it to facilitate a holier-than-thou attitude.


Anyone who you tell will likely be unable to understand. If they are close to you, they may fear
for your sanity and ask you to seek help, becoming personally upset and embroiled in your choice of
lifestyle. You have just deprived another of their happiness by shoving your belief down their throat.
Ring familiar?


To clarify, this is not an issue of embarrassment or, at least, it should not be. The healthy man
keeps his affections to himself, not because he is shamed because of them. If he is, 2D is not for him,
for he has not accepted it into himself. He keeps his affections to himself because he knows that no
one will understand, and that it will cause nothing but discord wherever it is revealed.
So how does one live with his waifu?

III. Conclusion Edit


One's waifu must inspire feelings of both belonging and purpose to be considered a
conventional 'waifu'. Belonging gives man his happiness. Purpose gives him the blueprint for his life.
Belonging is acquired via imagination, as previously discussed. Purpose is acquired via the waifu's
specific personality, which will inexorably drive the man to live his life in a way that would please his
waifu's sensibility. That's it. Live life the way your waifu would enjoy. Live, and forever daydream of
you and she. This delusion is not at all wrong, rather it is necessary, because we are human. All too
human."

"Haremfag" response Edit

Faggot.

VideosEdit

3D Can't Beat A Waifu 02:49

3D Can't Beat A Waifu

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